Even If They Are
by esbmusic42
Summary: "They have no right to dictate who you are!" "Even if they're my best friends?" In which Remus Lupin is at a loss for words, and Hermione Granger has far too many with no real knowledge of their meaning. An outsider's perspective on Hermione's character.


_Skrtchskrtchskrtch._

Remus Lupin paused midway through his rounds in front of the side entrance to the library. That's odd, he could've sworn he'd heard something.

_Skrtchskrtchskrtch._

There it was again! But it didn't sound like students in the throes (as the library was a bizarrely popular locale for such actions so late at night-why just last week he caught Fred Weasley and Angelina Joh- actually, he would like to forget about that particular incident), so it must be-

_SkrtchskrtchCRASH_ _"Oh for _Merlin's _sake!"_

A student studying so late? And in the library, no less? It was past 1 o'clock in the morning! Remus took a deep breath and walked in.

"Is someone in there?" he asked. He heard a quiet "eep" in the distance. "Please come out, or the consequences will be severe!" A somewhat louder gasp, and the desperate shuffling of papers followed. After a few moments, the offending student walked out, and her identity caught him somewhat off-guard.

"Miss Granger!" he exclaimed. The slightly shaking Hermione Granger nodded slowly, and immediately launched into her explanation:

"I'm so sorry, Professor! It was just that I had to work on my essay for Potions that's due next month and I didn't have the right textbook because it was strictly reference only so there's a spell on it so I had to do it in here but Ron forced me to play chess with him and-" Remus cut her off.

"It's due next month?" he asked curiously. Hermione nodded. "If it's that far in the future, then why not do it tomorrow?"

"Because I have to finish my Defense essay tomorrow!" she exclaimed, before freezing slightly. Remus raised an eyebrow.

"I may be mistaken, but I recall setting the due date for that essay for a month and a half from now." Hermione looked down at the ground, fists clenched and shaking. Remus sat down at the nearest table and beckoned the shaking thirteen-year-old to do so across from him. After a moment of hesitation, she did.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Miss Granger?" Remus asked. Hermione quickly mumbled something under her breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch tha-"

"I have trouble remembering things," she said, a little louder. Remus stared at her puzzled. What could she possibly mean by that? She was one of the top students in his class, if not, the most. He repeated this to her, and she shook her head.

"No, I mean that…oh bollocks-"

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh! Erm…(she sighed slightly before continuing) It takes me a very long time to absorb information. I have to concentrate really hard in order to remember things, and if I slack off even for a second, I might not be able to catch up, and I'll fall behind. So naturally, that just means that I have to stay ahead, and keep on reviewing the material until I remember."

"But how?" Remus asked, a bit shocked. "Forgive me for saying this, but I have trouble believing you, considering how smart you ar-"

"But I'm not!" Hermione exclaimed, and Remus immediately regretted his words. "I'm not like Harry, who has a top subject that he just inherently understands without needing to try! I'm not like Ron, who just has this way of understanding logic and using it to fill in the gaps! And I'm not like Malfoy, who had all those private tutors to help him understand!" She started shaking slightly, and her voice quivered as she continued. "It was like this for me in the Muggle world, too, but I was raised there, so I at least had some understanding of how it worked! But I only learned about magic three years ago, and I'm so far behind a-and I j-just-" she burst into tears. Immediately, Remus was rubbing her back in consolation.

"It's not fair. It's not fair, it's just not fair. It'snotfairit'snotfairit'snotfair," she blubbered.

"No, it's not. And I'm so sorry," Remus replied softly, if a bit awkwardly. He had not a clue as to how to deal with this situation.

"But it's not my fault, though! I'll try harder next time! I'm so sorry!" She cried more.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Remus protested, leaning away slightly to look at her properly.

"Yes, it is-" Remus interrupted her.

"Miss Granger, look at me," he said sternly. She sniffled for several moments, and he repeated it again and again, each time more softly and kindly until she did so. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You've worked incredibly hard, and look how it's paid off! You're the brightest student in the class, and it being not from natural talent (Hermione sniffled a bit at that) makes you all the more special. You're dedicated and hardworking, and you would do anything to do what you believed in." Remus pulled her in for a hug. "That makes just makes you all the more admirable."

"But I'm not smart, not really. Not like they think I am." Hermione's sad voice was muffled somewhat by Remus's (admittedly rather boney) shoulder. Remus pulled back a bit, and offered her a small smile.

"But you're brilliant in another, even more special way. And you're the only one who has the right to dictate who you are," he finished. Hermione looked up.

"Even if they're my best friends?" she asked softly. Remus hesitated. He thought back to the Marauder days, where he was just the smart one, who stood by his true leader's right hand man's side. He thought about James and Peter and even Sirius (though he would curse his name until the day he died), who were so kind to him, who thought he could become the diplomat he never wanted to be. The most brilliant man in the world, second only to the most brilliant woman in the world, James's Lily-flower (in the latter's words, of course); could be Minister of Magic, he could. If only he wanted to.

If only he could, really.

Even given what they knew, they still didn't have the right.

"Even if they're your best friends," he affirmed. Hermione smiled slightly.

"Thank you," she said, standing up. "I feel a bit better, now." Then she paled. "Oh, it's still after-hours! Am I going to get a de-d-det-deten-" she spluttered, and Remus leaped into action before she had the chance to cry again.

"I think that won't be necessary, after what occurred just now. Just please don't get caught in the library after hours like this again." Hermione opened her mouth slightly, about to say something, before closing it quickly and nodding furiously.

"Yes, Professor!" she exclaimed. Remus smiled.

"Off to bed, then," he replied. Hermione returned his smile and began to walk toward the library entrance.

"Goodnight, Professor Lupin. And thank you, again," she said shyly, before walking out.

"Goodnight, Miss Granger," he called back, though she was out of earshot. Instead of following her out, however, he just chose to sit in the chair Hermione sat in only moments ago, remembering how it would've been about twenty years ago when he sat across from his Transfiguration professor, having a now very familiar talk.

.o0O0o.

**Woah I'm back what?**

**Yeah, I'm in college now, guys!**

**Oh my god, I'm in college.**

**Anyway, here's a little something I threw together for you. For all that I love about the Harry Potter Universe, I really hated the idea that Hermione just inherently knew everything and adored studying and barely had to do a thing. Despite being smart and an avid learner, I like the idea of her actually having to work a lot harder than everyone else around her to keep up. It makes her much more admirable, as well as makes her frequent trips to the library a lot more justified. It also made her reaction to Ron's nasty little comment on Halloween of their first year a hell of a lot more justified, at least in my mind.**

**So, yeah. Like usual, if you have any comments or critiques on the writing style, characterization, plot, etc., please tell me. Remember, I can only improve if I know what I'm doing wrong.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**esbmusic42**


End file.
